Saturday, August 3, 2013

Most of the rumours about me are true..... (I know, cause I started 'em)

 
Early this morning I woke with a start. The kind where your heart stops beating for just a moment and you gasp as if your time is up.

But it wasn't.

No, not yet.

For you see I have a purpose, a mission, .....I dare say a calling.

YES, a calling. One that has not yet been fulfilled.

I must press on, forge ahead, and push the envelope once more.

Destiny is calling, .....and this time it's NOT going straight to voicemail.

There will be no hesitation; there will be no second guessing. Perhaps some first guessing, but goodness sake none of that secondary, tertiary, or ....fourtherary nonsense.

No, no, not THIS time.

 
This time will be different, this time will be unique, this time will be......different in a really cool unique kind of way.

For I am on the cusp of greatness, on the edge of success, on the precipice of potentiality.

Not only that, but I think something really neat is gonna happen to me.

I stand here today......I said I STAND here today with a message for you, my brethren.

Put aside your indifferences, step out of your comfort zones, log out of your candy crush mind numbedness.....for the time has arrived, today IS THA' DAY!!

We must gather our senses, sharpen our wits, and pull up our boot straps until they can be hooked around our ears.

So listen to me very carefully, as I only have the heart to share this with you once (and I've been given a time limit by our kindly moderator).

There is a need that has to be filled, a yearning that has to be satisfied, a thirst that must be quenched!

 
For when my poor beating heart had its early morning dress rehearsal of doom it sent me in a spiral of anxious activity and spurious creativity that had been unbefore dreamt possible.

 
Wonderful prose rolled from my pen, book outlines splashed every inch of the BIG IDEA dry erase board, spiral notebooks were quickly filled with amazing chapters, stanzas, and even a few complete sentences.

But alas! One step was overlooked and ignored during the orgy of passionate pontification.

 
A fatal error that could bring down our world as we once knew it to be and shake the very foundations of society at its very CORE.

 
For I missed an opportunity so rich and impetuous I cannot fathom what words would be necessary to adequately articulate the pain I have endured as a result. (or at least any words that I have not already butchered during this rant).

So before the inevitable shepherds crook surely comes to remove me from this stage, I shall share with you the impetus of my malady.

Throughout all of the passionate penmanship and awe-inspiring authrodom-like activities, I fell, I failed, I deteriorated all reality.....by missing my first cup of coffee.



GOD BLESS YOU JUAN VALDEZ, GOD BLESS YOU!!!!

 

– b2