endorphine envy

Life has inadvertently become more complicated than I had intended. 

My mind is constantly awash with anguish and strife rarely pausing to rest or enjoy folly.

Racing from one worry to the next, solving none, stressing on many.

Constant butterflies irritate the stomach and fibrillate the heart.

Shivering cold dominates every waking hour creating an atmosphere of dread and loathing.

Persistent procrastination becomes a safety net with the hopes that logic, motivation, and passionate drive will allow me to overcome this emotional beast that has become my daily state.

I jones for adrenaline and constantly fight the dizzying pains of dopamine withdrawals.

Ideas flood the mind and send a steady flow of drowning doubt that easily overcomes my muse.

In a sea of darkness a tiny light fights to pierce the gloom.

As it slowly grows my newly found anticipation works to follow suit.

When IT arrives, I arrive and am awash in the warmth of pending redemption.

I have finally found the mysterious key, or rather is it the one that has finally found me?

Suddenly I am graced with what seemed impossible only moments before.

My errant thoughts begin to scatter and my mind becomes clear and sharp.

It is then that I realize the true beauty of the light, its motive, and its source.

Cold salty sweat rolls down my cheek, into my lips, and awakens my senses.

For now I am aware, now I can feel, and now I can share the origin of my salvation..............

HOPE.


-b2